


Fucking Hell

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 06:37:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17055020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lucifer decides to take you, the human he can’t believe he has fallen for, out for a first date.  It doesn’t go well.





	Fucking Hell

“Stop!”  Lucifer shouted at his brother as he tightened the tie.  “This is idiotic!”

 

“Do you want to look nice for your date or not?!”  Gabriel said with a pout, putting his hands on his hips for added flair.  He waited until Lucifer rolled his eyes and nodded.  “Good.  Now sit still…don’t you look so cute in a tie!”

 

000

 

When you answered the door, you were utterly shocked.  Lucifer was standing there, a smile on his face, beautiful orchids in his hands, a button up shirt and tie, even a jacket.  He looked stunning…but…

 

“Is that blood on your jacket?”  You probably should have started with how handsome he looked…but you couldn’t keep it to yourself.

 

Lucifer looked down and back up, not even blinking.  “Gabriel will recover.”

 

And that was the first time you said your favorite line, “Fucking hell.”

 

000

 

“Fucking hell.”  You groaned as you leaned over. 

 

“Are you alright?”  Lucifer put a hand on your back and rubbed small circles.  This was idiocy, he thought to himself, I should have remembered she gets sick when she flies!

 

“All…be okay…”  You focused on taking deep and steady breaths, fighting down the wave on nausea as you leaned into Lucifer’s cool form.  “Why don’t we head to the restaurant?”  You said with a sweet smile, leaning your head against his chest.

 

“Sure.”  Lucifer spoke sweetly as he guided you away.  Sure, the date got off to a rough start, but he was going to change that now.

 

000

 

Stupid meat bags, worthless worms, damn them all to hell and let them burn! 

 

That was what Lucifer thought every single time the waiter came back to the table, which was just a bit too often for his taste.  He was always smiling, always chipper, and happy…it was despicable. 

 

“And you, miss?  What can I get for you today?!  I would very much recommend the white wine aged thirty years, it would be an excellent pairing with your steak.  And even a good pair with your friend’s wine, if you wanted to share!  Wouldn’t that be adorable?!” 

 

It was Lucifer’s turn to use the line this time, “Fucking hell.” 

 

000

 

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” 

 

Lucifer just turned his head away as he crossed his arms over his chest.  When he imagined this first date, there was a moment that he thought the both of you would end up in the back alley…but then it would have included other activities…

 

“He deserved it.”

 

“HOW?!”  You screamed, your face going utterly red from the screaming and trying to hard not to punch him.

 

“He was too chipper.”  Lucifer deadpanned, looking you in the eye, doing everything in his power not to make a comment on how sexy you looked when you were angry.

 

“SO YOU SNAPPED HIM INTO OBLIVION?!” 

 

Maybe he would say something about your sexy temper, maybe then you would put your effort into something else…  “That was for him looking down your dress.  He’s lucky he is only in Australia and not Hell.” 

 

Lucifer pushed off from the wall and pulled you close.  “No one looks at my girl that way…”  He cooed as he leaned down for a kiss. 

 

000

 

Tears stung your eyes as Castiel lifted your hand for a moment before healing you. 

 

“I don’t understand, Y/n.  How did you break your hand?”  The angel asked innocently as Dean perked up, excited to hear every detail. 

 

“I didn’t catch that…”  Sam offered after you mumbled.

 

“She said she punched me in the face when I tried to kiss her!” 

 

“Fucking hell!”  Dean shouted as he rolled onto the floor laughing.


End file.
